Walking the Labyrinth, Lunar Eclipse, Winter Solstice 200010

Dear WEb,
It's a quiet night, early morning--2:40 am. My alarm set, but I am already dreaming of the eclipse, so I am not startled too much. Warm clothes on, layers. My feet move through the dark, the grass, leaves, chestnut hulls, limbs blown to the ground by the North wind so many times these last several weeks. My feet move to the circles of stones they know so well.

I enter...for Femaleness, for the Return, for Phoenix, for my Beingness. I take the walk into the dark. The darkest of the dark. A full moon lunar eclipse above me behind heavy cloud cover on the longest night of the year. I circle, wrap back and circle again into the layers of dark, the layers of this path, guided by these rocks once again, guided by these rocks on this path...My feet know the way.

And then I reach a place I cannot see a way. How can this be?...there is always a way on this path. But the darkness hides it. I feel with my feet and every way seems to be closed off with stones. How can this be? Did someone move these stones? Why would they do that? HOW CAN THIS BE! I stay present to the discomfort, knowing there are many layers of reality here happening. She is teaching me something. Ok, so I retrace my steps back a bit to reorient. Find the heart stone near by and let my hands rest on her. I approach again what seems to be a dead end. Still, it's the same. There is no way. I am at the 'end' here in the middle of the labyrinth. I consider turning back, making meaning of it later. I consider ignoring the rocks, stepping over them and going on. My feet search and search, tapping for the opening. I feel a bit concerned, but mostly intrigued and befuddled.

Finally I see. What looked like the DEAD end was not. The way opens up. And I go on with a wry smile to myself and Her. As I continue on, allowing the sound of my feet through leaves and on the Earth to create the altered state again, I hear the message about illusion. It's obvious, I know. But, I can be 'dense' sometimes--my body needs an experience to understand such platitudes. And I know it's not just a platitude to say 'the end is not the end, it's an illusion of an end'. It sounds so, so, Buddahist of something like that. But Buddah doesn't own that notion. Neither do Christians with the notion of resurrection and heaven. The Earth has her own ways of teaching me, here and now with Her body, Her rocks, Her way. Her way told me to just keep moving in the way my instincts say in spite of what looks closed. And I found the way, through the 'end'.

In reaching the center, I paused and looked east to the mountains and resting light. I say aloud to the Earth, "I am here in your Darkest of Dark hours. I have lived through my Darkest of Dark hours. We move together now. Forward." and now in the recalling of this I will add: "We move together now. Forward. Through what looks like an end."

Blessed be,
Melissa