Today, part 2

Dear Web,

Two things for this addendum for today. One: there is often very little that happens cause and effect; actually, probably nothing does. So in reference to my last post re: my hair and how cutting it led to me feeling more unbound--this is really not accurate and doesn't do justice to other factors. This may seem like a hair splitting point to some, and/but it is not. You see, in the course between the time I got my hair cut and today, many things have happened--some I have reported and many I have not. All of these things have unbound me, not just cutting my hair. For example, during the weekend I spent some time with my Tribe--these are folks who I consider family in those deep and unabiding ways. Often when we are together, I come back to myself in ways that are unique to being with these women. As a combined result of that and all the other pieces of the weekend, reported and unreported, I have received the gift of feeling unbound. Ok, now I can let it rest. It's just important to me that I give credit where credit is due to the multiple identifiable sources.

Last thing....I cannot believe Phoenix is gone. (PAUSE...let that just hang in the air...)





This is something so profoundly inconceivable that today I've launched into tears and sobbing several times. All I want to do is reach my hand out and feel his ears again. Have him here to say the things I only say to him in the tone of voice I only use with him. This pain will never heal. No matter what. It flows right along side everything else that I write about. So, dear Web, just because I don't talk about it each time, know that this pain is ever present. Phoenix is my Heart. And somehow this 'going on' will never be totally right. And I will never love like this again. I know I sound so tragic. It is. Profoundly so.

Love,
Melissa