Reinforcing the Levees

Dear Phoenix on the WEb,
It’s the first Thursday after my class has ended, so it’s my first Thursday “off” in 17 weeks. I’ve had some appointments today and have done some usual housekeeping things. It’s all felt different without the time pressure of needing to get things done before class or doing last minute preparations before class etc. And I’ve spent some time going back to read early entries in this log. I’ve missed you, Phoenix, so much these last few days especially. In rereading the early events, I’ve gone back to you again, re-membering what happened again. It wasn’t a dream. I’ve not just woken up to this life I live now. I re-member the ruins from which I have come.

This evening I created a new large altar on the floor. For several weeks now there’s been a configuration of standing stones on the floor with my seated woman statue and a seated crone sitting across from one another ‘in council’. There was a tea light in front of each one, illuminating their conversation across the way. Between myself and the crone were two standing stones with a channel of space between the two rocks. I imagined that was the channel that made the way for the wordless conversation between us. So for weeks we have ‘been in council’ regarding all manner of things. Tonight, it felt like council was finished, for now.

The new altar grew organically into something that is both reflective of current situations and is also a spell, an act of magical intent. The cloth is brown velvet and the edge of the circle is kept by six pairs of standing stones. Six. Yes, six twin sister Grandmother stones. I am in the middle in the form of a bronze statue with my arms wide open. Around me are scattered fragments of pottery that broke this winter with the extreme cold. Then I trailed some blue yarn that I’ve used in circle to signify my ‘coming unraveled’ this past year through the ‘ruins’ of these broken fragments. Finally, I used gold glitter along the places of the fabric that were not laying flat, but had bulged upwards to create creases. These creases I ‘saw’ to be levees, like the levees that hold back waters from flooding towns. The glitter was placed there with magical intent to ‘reinforce’ these levees.

The towns in Louisiana and along the Mississippi are in danger in these next many days of being flooded. Spillways are having to be released because the waters there are rising so high. This release will send massive amounts of water at high velocities into the rivers, lakes and bayous causing dangerous tension and pressure on the levees which protect towns, homes, families. Someone I love has loved ones there. We are scared of the outcome for them and their homes. And...I cannot ignore the parallels. Internally we are dealing with a lot of emotional upheaval that feels like rising waters that are pushing our internal levees to their capacity. This altar is for reinforcement within and without. That all levees will be strong enough to hold up against the pressure.

I am in the middle of it all, with my arms wide open. I’ve asked the Goddess to take it all, reconfigure it as She has and will. I will continue to not fear the ruins. I am in the company of a strong circle of six twin sister Grandmothers. Devastation can roar around me. I will endure and find my place in the reconfiguration. With my arms wide open to Her.
Love,
Me