Where are YOU?

Dear Phoenix on the Web,
WHERE ARE YOU?
I haven't had a sense of you for a while. No dreams. No WuWu moments when I know you are there. Your photos feel farther and farther away from me...that is...a sensory memory is harder to access through them! I hate this. Where are you, Phoenix?

I feel like I am in between, not here nor there. Not in the past, nor the present. Relationships feel mostly blah. I have moments sometimes of feeling ok in this place. But I cannot feel you here. I don't understand. Have you left me? Are you trying to teach me something? I need to keep a sense of you, Phoenix. I don't want 'to go on' without you. It's no kind of life for me.

Please, give me something.
Love,
Melissa