The Bullet: How Perfectly Obvious

Dearest Phoenix on the WEb,

This is so very much our Journey together right now, isn't it?  I feel keenly guided by you to retrieve the bullet from your grave and send it back from whence it came.  It does not belong to us, never did. How clear that was to suddenly Know what to do next for us, for our healing, for our letting go of anything else from that awful night that is causing us harm.  How perfectly obvious.

So, S. (my trusted co-death priestess) and I uncovered you for the first time in three years yesterday.  You led me to your head, your sweet sweet head. How stunning.  My fingers passed through all the layers of grey. Oh, I just heard your song: I've been kissed by a rose on the grave....or is it grey?  The ornamental rose bush that friends gifted me after you were killed has 'died' but right now, there by your grave is a single small bright red blossom.  How you do this! This is your signal to me, isn't it?  Roses blooming from seemingly dead bushes.  Stunning.

We uncovered you mostly and I searched through your chest feeling for the bullet.  The grey earth that was once you, is so very soft, fine like ash.  My hands read through all of it around bones reaching, feeling, sifting.  No bullet.  Yet.  Tomorrow S. is bringing a metal detector.  We will find it.  Do not doubt it. And, I will continue the healing work you have guided me to do with your bones, releasing any trauma still locked.  That letting go of anything else from that awful night that is causing us harm.  Yes, we are doing this together.  I feel you so strongly, your guidance. How we have worked three years to be together doing this right now. How deeply moving this all is!  I already feel how freer I feel in my body.

So, I am continuing to Listen to you, dear beloved guardian companion.  It's been so unbelievably good to feel your physicality again.  I cannot even say the levels in me that affects.  I am happy to be connected to the physical of you again, even as different as you are. I feel happy to be doing this healing work, having this focus of reconnection and transformation.  How perfectly obvious.

I adore you. Thank you for the dream guidance, for the digging guidance, for the timing guidance, for the perfectly obvious focus now: the bullet and the release of anything else from that awful night that is causing us harm.

Blessed blessed be, beloved one.
Yours,
Me