At the Crossroads

Dear Web,

I am
I am a nest
I am a nest of dried herbs, rose petals and the shell of single monarch butterfly in a cauldron.

I am.
I am a match on fire.
I am a match on fire igniting the nest.

I am.
I am smoke.
I am smoke rising.
I am smoke rising and drifting through the air currents.

I am.
I am a Priestess.
I am a Priestess Doula with a snake shaped athame.
I am a Priestess Doula with a snake shaped athame casting a circle around the burning cauldron,
fiercely on guard and speaking the truth: "The Fire has begun."

I am.
I am smoldering, my body heaving and curling
through the heat.
I hear the chants that
I cannot turn back.
I heed them
and
I also know
I can halt
this birth.
With my will to die.

I must know this place of will,
I tell the scared voices.
I must know I have weighed my options
so as not to be another unconscious living
dead.
I must know my own Will here
at the crossroads,
the most honest place I know right now.

I am.
I am here without Phoenix.
I am here without Phoenix and
this may be as far as I want to go without
my Beloved.

The Priestess Doula firmly reminds me to consider,
"If you do not want to go any further,
the new life will die with you."

I am.
I am sitting.
I am sitting at the crossroads with a burning cauldron,
knowing all life must pass through this threshold.

Love,
Melissa