Reaching out to you

Dear Phoenix on the WEb,

What is it that I have come to say? I miss you. This is one way I try to reconnect with you.  Yesterday while walking around downtown, I encountered a large brindled hound named Maizy.  As I was greeting her, she leaped into my arms, front paws and giant torso.  While at the time I felt immensely happy, I don't think the meaning registered right then. It was another experience of my body knowing what was happening before my mind did.  Later I cried about how familiar that felt for a large brindled dog to jump into my arms!  You, Phoenix, you.  I miss you.  And interestingly, this hound dog was a Plott hound (Beetle's people!) with your heavy brindle markings.

I am feeling discouraged.  There are many things that are unsettled about another class beginning, about a space for our dances,  some relations feel a bit uneasy and I'm having some physical pain with my ovary today which is causing me some concern/doubt.  Just overall I feel low grade anxiety, like there is someone just around the corner ready to criticize me and what I should be doing or not doing.  I know this is some of the 'old stuff' I am working to let go of my past.  Trying to replace it with Trust.  Trust amidst the anxiety.  Trust flowing down from my heart to my ovary.  What if I do it wrong? What if I do it right and it still doesn't make any difference to the outcome? What if something sudden happens and I don't have time to prepare?  Am I being foolish?

Oh, Phoenix. Oh, Ovary.  Oh, Goddess.

Reaching out/in to you.
Love,
Me